He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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