This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
