Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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