i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
