somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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