How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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