The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
