Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
someone owes me an orgasm
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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