hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
