it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
