Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
