He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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