I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
