I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
