If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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