They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
