I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A bitchslap is in order.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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