Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
