I can tuck mytits in my pants
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize