It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
