Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
