I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
