I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
