your parents love me but you hate me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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