He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
