would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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