I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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