Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
