My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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