i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
