i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
