You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
