He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
