Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
