Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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