Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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