How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
