so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
