i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize