She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
