I can tuck mytits in my pants
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize