I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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