I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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