we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Did I show you my penis last night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize