New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize