it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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