My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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