I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
