But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The best revenge is premature balding
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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