That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
