Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
