Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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