So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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