hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
