let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
