he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
