There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
