He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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