What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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