guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
