How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
True college students do jello shots in the library
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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