so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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