She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
