i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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