Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
