He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
