sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
