We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She is in my trunk
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
His nipple licking is glorious
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