...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
