my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
