You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
