Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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