I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We have so much sex to catch up on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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